# 55
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Leaving Ariana in shock, Saint Colette began to explain while counting on her fingers.
“If you were eighteen, you would have done everything to avoid Kenneth. During your engagement to the prince, you had no room to maneuver.”
“However... if I had been able to meet my child sooner...”
“But going back to your first marriage would have been more dangerous.”
“Why-”
But Ariana already knew the answer.
The period immediately following their marriage was the most politically tense, and Kenneth's violent temper was at its peak.
'There were days when I didn't see him much more than now.'
If she had opened her eyes at that time, perhaps her longing for her child would have been broken as well.
But because she woke up a year later, she was able to start in a 'tolerable if sent back' mode.
“So...so...”
Only hesitant confirmation came out of it. She felt as if she was enchanted.
'Am I crazy?'
Well, after she opened her eyes and dug up the garden dirt, it's not surprising that she was a little out of her mind.
More calmly, Ariana asked her questions.
“But, is this opportunity given to everyone? Is there a reason to give this miracle to Pepe?”
Saint Colette smiled kindly.
“Not only for Beatrice, but it is a miracle that is sometimes given to those who die through no fault of their own.”
“It's not common, but it's not rare either. If the willing prayer matches the right time.”
Ariana's lips trembled silently for a moment.
If it was possible when the wishing prayer matched the right time… It seemed simple, but she knew intuitively that the possibility was extremely small.
“But if this was possible... why was no one talking about it?”
“If someone spoke of remembering a past life recklessly, wouldn’t he be accused of heresy and killed?”
"Yes."
“Therefore, those who return keep the miracle a secret and live quietly.”
Ariana nodded. Indeed, didn't she keep her mouth shut for fear of being dragged to a mental institution?
She cautiously asked a more important question.
“So, is there something threatening me and my baby in this life?”
"Are they the same entities as in my previous life, or something new? Did Roger Ingalls, for example, raise a gun-"
“Ah, Roger Ingalls...”
Saint Colette made a faint tongue-clicking sound.
“The gun you used in your previous life was actually his. Roger Ingalls paid for it.”
“But, Ariana, do you think he used such an obvious method?”
Even in her shock, Ariana understood the significance of the question.
Because if she had changed her mind and pointed the gun at Kenneth, it would have meant killing his master.
“So, did someone try to blame Roger Ingalls?”
“Yes. Those who wanted to get rid of you quickly to speed up the war back then were the ones who planned it.”
“…Was that…from the Empire?”
She moved her stiff tongue with difficulty to ask. In the year she died, there were constant voices urging war.
Dominance over the seas...romantic words, but in the end, it is the empire that benefits most from the unification of military forces.
Saint Colette nodded silently.
The noise of the outside event began to seep in from outside the cathedral doors.
In contrast to the complete calm that had prevailed in the space, as if it were another world, the place gradually began to return to reality.
Emily shouted from behind the door.
"Ma'am! Ma'am, are you still in there? Are you okay?"
Ariana regained consciousness and twitched.
She still had many questions, but her thoughts were intertwined like threads, and her tongue did not move.
"We're running out of time now. I can answer just one more question."
“So, um...”
In her confusion, Ariana asked this question without thinking.
“Do you know what happened to him after I died?”
Honestly, what would you do knowing that now? But curiosity about the world after her death was an irresistible instinct.
The nun looked at her with clear eyes and spoke softly.
“Kenneth lived. He forgot your death well.”
“Ah...”
“He married a new woman, had more children, and lived a good life until he died.”
Ariana's lips moved from the burning pain in her chest.
I felt, strangely, secretly betrayed by this fact.
Perhaps she hoped that Kenneth would regret it in that life, albeit too late.
To suffer, even by a fingernail, in front of her corpse that did not leave gently.
But they and their daughter were merely entities forgotten with the passage of time.
That easy.
As the knocking on the door became louder, Emily screamed more anxiously.
"Ma'am? Ma'am! May I open the door?"
“Emily, I'm in!”
Ariana screamed harshly, and the knocking finally stopped.
She wanted to ask more questions, but Saint Colette pushed her firmly.
“It's time to go, Ariana.”
“...Will I see you again? Can I ask for help again?”
“No, unfortunately, this will be the last time.”
Saint Colette shook her head silently.
“Your coming here was the condition for me to tell you as much.”
Ariana wanted to ask more, but she had to head toward the door.
But before the door was fully opened, she turned back one last time.
'She disappeared.'
The person she was just talking to disappeared without a trace.
Ariana walked outside, supported by Emily.
Under the dazzling sunshine, Kenneth was still with the other men.
The saint's words about Kenneth's life echoed in her ears.
[He married a new woman, had more children, and lived a good life until he died]
[He forgot your death well]
'Of course, you lived well in that life.'
You forgot your guilty wife and your daughter who was just a mistake.
Very well.
Without knowing how much Ariana wants that life to live with you and Baby.
* * *
“Why did you leave your place then?”
After the charity event ended, Kenneth asked Ariana suspiciously inside the returning car.
Even after he moved to the men's place, his senses were directed towards her. So, when she disappeared, he felt his heart sink for a moment.
Ariana looked at him slowly, staring out the window in amazement.
“Ah… I was resting inside the cathedral for a moment. The sun was very strong.”
“Don't disappear without telling anyone.”
Kenneth scolded her succinctly. He worried what would happen if he didn't see Ariana.
The satisfaction he got from kissing her and seeing her confused every morning was still there.
But gradually, that started to not be enough.
Other than arranging the party dress and inviting Edith Clarke, Ariana showed no interest in anything else.
But why is he worried about not being able to give her anything?
Moreover, there were many men looking at a married woman with eyes full of admiration and desire.
'They behave well in a holy place.'
But what was more disturbing than the suspicious men were the children.
Since his visit to this cathedral, he had seen Ariana and a child in his dreams several times.
'Maybe because of that annoying question from that nun.'
Before leaving, he asked the old priest in the cathedral about the nun he had seen on his previous visit.
But the priest, pointing to the nuns outside, looked confused.
“The nuns here are all out now.”
“No, not those, someone else greeted me then.”
“It couldn't be...what did she look like?”
But Kenneth couldn't answer. No matter how much he tried to remember, there was nothing he remembered about her face.
'But I'm sure I met her.'
He thought this visit was just a feeling of déjà vu, but he had definitely met her before.
Anyway, he didn't want to visit that cathedral again.
Despite the brilliance of the sun and the refreshing salty breeze, the place was chilly.
As if it were his grave.
* * *
That night, perhaps due to a visit to the cathedral, Kenneth saw the place in his dream again.
But unlike the bright, grass-scented day, the cathedral in the dream was filled with the smell of blood.