# 51
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Although I was grateful for his concern, I couldn't hide my strangely mixed feelings.
'I was going to figure it out on my own sooner or later.'
I put it off for a while because Lucio suddenly arrived, but I decided I wasn't going to sit there and suffer.
‘But how did something like this happen…?’
“Huh...noona?”
At this time, Diana, who was lying on the bed, blinked hard with sleep-filled eyes and called out to me.
Thinking she had fallen asleep, she stopped reading the short stories and lost herf in other thoughts for a moment before reading the last sentence.
“The princess lived happily ever after with the warrior.”
After hearing the perfect ending, Diana closed her eyes and smiled.
And because of the Allen thing, I felt sorry again for getting distracted while reading the children's book today.
While I was combing my loose hair and wiping my forehead, Diana said: “Hmph.”
She smiled and turned to me.
She spoke in a voice that sounded like she was about to fall asleep at any moment.
“Nona, Diana....”
"Yes?"
“Diana…happily with Nona…I want to live.”
I was already very upset, but when I heard the innocent child's confession, I felt a part of my heart tighten.
“...forever?”
When I asked, barely suppressing my crying heart, she nodded slightly.
“Huh, forever...”
With these words, Diana fell asleep.
I closed my eyes tightly and stared at Diana's gently sleeping face.
For some reason, I feel like crying.
No one has ever loved me this much, so I don't know what to do.
When I first followed Duke Elad, my heart was light.
Although Diana loved me, I thought it was because she was young and had no one to depend on.
So, I planned to kill time for a while by putting Jack back in his place and setting up different things before I too could be independent.
“There were many times when I was impressed by the Duke's people who treated me well.”
However, it did not change my decision to leave one day.
I had dedicated all my loyalty to Terenceum, believing it would be my place to stay forever, but just as returning was a betrayal, I didn't want to repeat the past of putting down roots somewhere again and then eventually abandoning it.
But no matter how many times you decide to have no expectations, your mind doesn't work the way you think it does.
In fact, up until now, I was hated no matter my efforts just because I was next to Diana.
'How is it so similar to when I lived in Terenceum?'
At times like these, I feel afraid and shaken by the thought of wanting to leave immediately.
But the reason I kept putting up with it and putting up with it….
“Huh.”
I feel like a baby's face is holding my finger tightly as it tosses and turns in my heart.
Even after my environment changed and I was reunited with my family, I didn't want to leave this child who treated me the same way.
'If my dream was to become rich and travel freely, I could stay by Diana's side...'
Knock knock.
Then, as if to break my emotional thoughts, there was a knock at the door.
When I quietly got down from the chair and opened the door, I saw that the Duchess and Helen were dressed for going out, as if they had just returned from abroad.
“Oh my God, is Diana already asleep?”
The Duchess looked into the room and lowered her voice.
“Yes ma’am, are you here now?”
I heard that you attended the tea ceremony at the Imperial Palace held by the Empress today.
After quickly examining his skin, he didn't seem to have a bad expression.
'That's right, we must prevent the Duchess from dying suddenly.'
I don't really know her because I don't have any family, but obviously losing her beloved mother overnight would leave a huge scar in Diana's heart.
After thinking of another reason why I should stay at the Duke's house, I followed the Duchess to talk for a while.
While she was going to the Duchess's room, she said to Helen.
“It looks like Diana will soon be invited to a tea party hosted by the princess, so ask your etiquette teacher to focus more on royal etiquette.”
“Yes, I understand.”
I made eye contact momentarily with Helen, who bowed her head and answered.
I forgot to breathe for a moment as those eyes seemed glaring at me.
When I closed my eyes in surprise, I saw Helen looking elsewhere with indifferent eyes, as if what I had just seen was just an illusion.
'But I'm not wrong.'
I can detect other people's hostility towards me faster than anyone else.
Moreover, she stared at me with those cold eyes, it couldn't be an illusion.
'Now that I think about it...'
A dark memory came to mind when I was with Lucio.
“Helen.”
When Lucio called Helen that way.
When I watched this eagerly, I could tell.
Her breathing became shaky for a moment.
Just like now, Helen took over her agitation very quickly.
I glanced at Lucio, but he seemed indifferent and not even interested.
However, the moment I saw the head maid, who was rarely flustered, was very strange and disturbing to me.
“Then get some rest.”
I saw the back of her head turn, and her neck tilted upright as usual.
What are you hiding?
I also had a feeling that the head maid, whose true intentions were unknown since the first encounter, had a secret, perhaps because of my previous profession.
“Leah, get in here.”
At that time, the Duchess opened the door and pointed at me with a benevolent smile.
“Ma’am, you must be tired, what’s going on?”
As I was asking questions as I entered, I felt a little uneasy, wondering if Bianca had sent me another message. I haven't finished my response yet.
“Leia, I heard the story today...I heard that you will be working in the main library starting tomorrow?”
But when I heard the words coming back, my heart suddenly sank.
It was clear that the maid was talking.
'Maybe the Duchess has discovered that I'm being harassed by the maids.'
When she looked at the Duchess with trembling eyes as if there had been an earthquake, she smiled and said:
“This is a really good thing.”
For some reason, the Duchess seemed excited.
“If you stay in the library, you'll be able to read a lot of good books, however, don't clean or organize the books yourf; make sure to call in the other maids, okay?”
"yes i will."
I answered with a sigh.
Fortunately, the maid did not go into details and merely gave her a brief message.
then.
“Lucio....”
The Duchess swallowed nervously.
“It might be a little difficult because his personality is different from Allen and Diana. …However, I hope you can help me by his side for now.”
“Yes? Me?”
I couldn't hide my embarrassment and asked for a response.
Because I had no idea why he would suddenly say such a thing.
The Duchess seemed to understand my confusion and added with a smile.
“Lucio is not the type of person who has people around him, I am sure he made this decision because he loved you.”
“…That wouldn’t be the reason, perhaps it would be because of Miss Diana?”
“This can’t be the reason, even though I didn’t raise him myf, he is still my son that I gave birth to, so I’m afraid I don’t know his true nature.”
I denied it and patted my head.
“Our Leia is just as smart as Lucio, so she'll learn a lot from looking over her shoulder.”
It was embarrassing to be put on the same level as Lucio, who was called a genius, but somehow the Duchess's mood seemed to have calmed down, so she couldn't refute it again.
Instead, when she looked at her wondering what she meant by saying he couldn't lift it himf, the Duchess, who had been silent for a moment as if deep in thought, spoke with a wry smile.
“Lucio was an intelligent and responsible child from a young age. Although he was not asked to do so, he studied on his own and trained hard in the art of swordsmanship. As a mother, it was natural for me to feel proud and honored, but at the same time, I was worried. Therefore, I adjusted my class schedule several times and delayed my wake-up time, but when the elders found out about this, they came running to me, for trying to destroy the heir to the dukedom. In the end, this matter developed so much that it was said that Lucio should be kept in the capital.” Instead of the province, there was strong resistance at first, but… and in the end she had to remove him due to pressure from the sheikhs. Of course, the most important thing is that he wanted to stay in the capital.”
“Even though he ended up doing a great job growing up, I still don’t know if it was a good decision or not.”
Suddenly, she remembered the feeling of distance between the Duchess, who was so happy to see Lucio and did not know what to do, and Lucio who was stiff.
She smiled bitterly, probably thinking the same thing.
“I think he feels uncomfortable with me because I can't raise him by my side like Allen and Diana. In fact, he seems to feel more comfortable with Helen.”
“This can't be true.”
Seeing the Duchess's face endlessly depressed, I quickly refuted it.
“It may be embarrassing for the eldest young lady not to be able to see the lady often, but she will never feel uncomfortable or feel close to the head maid.”
These are not just words of comfort.
Today is the first time I've seen a proper conversation, but I didn't feel like Lucio was treating the head maid in a special way.
“Except for calling my name.”
As with everyone, he had a cold and indifferent attitude.
But the Duchess doesn't seem to think so.
“Leah is nice.”
“It's not like that...”
“It's okay, Helen took care of Lucio when he came to the capital since he was young, so, it's not surprising that he feels more comfortable with her than me.”
I wanted to respond to the Duchess who was pretending to be fine, but I couldn't and I was upset.
Actually, I wanted to say that.
Lucio, who everyone says is cold as ice, has a bit of humanity and warmth in him, and it definitely comes from the Duchess.
If it weren't for the Duchess, he would definitely be a colder and colder person.
‘For example, the person who is not kind enough to give chocolate to a ar on the street.’