“…Yes.”
Half-drowsy, Iris murmured faintly, then suddenly snapped her eyes open.
“Y-yes?”
Reflexively, she pulled the blanket tightly up to her chest.
Ah, would that seem like she was pushing him away?
But then she remembered what Cedric said—they were husband and wife. It was only natural for them to share a bed.
But—
She was still weak and hadn’t properly washed.
Perhaps the fever made her sweat profusely as well.
And—and—
Her head spun dizzily when a sharp tap echoed in her ear.
Raising her head, she found Cedric’s subtle expression as his finger gently touched her forehead.
“Ah.”
“Why worry so much? I’m just teasing.”
“Ah… teasing.”
Iris blushed deeply and rubbed her forehead.
No, saying that with such a face, that voice, in this place…
She hesitated, then lay back under the blanket, making sure to shoot Cedric a playful glare.
“Don’t joke like that next time.”
Cedric responded not with words but a soft chuckle, patting her gently on the abdomen again.
His warm touch sent the medicine flowing through her veins; she felt herself drifting into the unconscious sea of sleep.
“It’s a joke. Really.”
Cedric’s whisper reached her ears.
This time, Iris didn’t resist the pull.
“Just stay by my side.”
His warm arms enveloped her.
He softly kissed the violet strands brushing against his chin, careful not to wake her.
“Um, my lady—”
Cedric murmured something in her ear.
Iris didn’t hear it, but a smile naturally blossomed on her lips.
It was surely as warm as Cedric himself, so she instinctively nestled deeper into his embrace.
Perhaps because someone watches over her,
she felt like she could dream well tonight.
When she opened her eyes, evening had fallen.
The feeling was strange.
She thought maybe it was just the night growing darker, that she had simply slept too long and lost track of time.
Or at least she wanted to believe that.
No, it can’t be.
The familiar worn blanket touched her trembling fingers.
She lit the lamp with a shaking hand.
Only then did the scent she’d been trying to ignore flood her nostrils—the smell of blood belonging to her beloved, which she thought she had forgotten.
“Ah… ah…”
Before her eyes lay her own chamber. The calendar—
It was the day after Cedric’s death.
That dreadful day’s following day.
The very day Iris should have awakened to.
“No. No!”
It must not be so.
No way.
Iris grabbed the door handle wildly and yanked.
There was no room for the rational thought that the door wouldn’t open. She had to get out of here.
I have to wake up from this nightmare.
Bang! Bang!
She slammed the door with both hands.
Her hands reddened, her thumbs clenched so tightly they felt like breaking, yet she kept striking without pause.
[
Iris Valentine
]
A note slipped under the door.
[That lowly wretch is dead.]
[Isn’t it time you came to your senses? Were you always the kind to burden your family so?]
[Big sister, snap out of it.]
[The door won’t open until you return to being the good sister.]
[So behave yourself.]
“Open! Open this door right now!”
A scream tore from her throat, raw and bitter like blood.
In the end, Iris collapsed, unable to hold her body upright.
…It was a dream?
How could it have been a dream?
Going back to the past, being able to save Cedric again—
“My lady.”
That voice calling me that again.
Tears streamed down uncontrollably, each drop stabbing into her heart like a blade, again and again.
At first, when she traveled back, her mind was filled with thoughts.
But returning to reality, her mind was utterly blank.
“What… what am I supposed to do?”
Cedric. This time, what effort should I make for you?
What can I even do?
I can’t remember the technique.
Even with thread and needle, without fabric, nothing can be made. A story where the protagonist exits is just discarded.
She didn’t bother wiping her tears since they showed no sign of stopping. Slowly, Iris stood up.
Her life had never been so easily won.
I didn’t die right away, after all.
Her death wouldn’t be granted so easily, but still she clung to vain hope.
She pressed her hand against the window, leaving a clear handprint. No one had cleaned this since she left the room.
Their carelessness is laughable.
Click—
She unlocked the latch and slid the window open.
“This place… isn’t locked.”
She sneered at their sloppiness.
Creak—
She opened the window and slowly stepped outside. The bloodstained dress fluttered in the wind.
Cedric.
The dress billowed like a blooming flower. Her fall might not be beautiful, but—
If I die again like that time…
Would I be able to see you?
If I sacrifice this life, could it be possible?
The thought made her smile softly. If she could save Cedric so cheaply.
Again and again.
Iris threw herself into the void.
The fierce wind slammed against her as she fell.
In that moment, Iris woke from the nightmare.
Iris gasped for breath and forced herself upright. Her body, soaked in cold sweat, felt unbearably heavy. Yet, like someone who had lost their senses, she frantically searched for something—anything—that could prove this was not a dream: a calendar, a clock, anything to confirm reality.
It was a dream.
Beside her, Cedric was there.
It was all just a nightmare.
Her wandering hands finally stilled. But even now, this moment didn’t quite settle on her skin like reality. So blindly, she cupped Cedric’s cheeks with trembling hands. He was definitely alive.
…He’s alive.
Still, he felt fragile, like a transparent bubble that might vanish at her touch.
“Lady?”
“Is… is this really real?”
Cedric, suddenly grasped, didn’t move but quietly remained as she wished.
“Is something wrong?”
“Please… this isn’t a dream, is it?”
“Of course not, Iris.”
Her long lashes fluttered, tears slipping down like raindrops—emotions she couldn’t name, relief and unease mingled together.
“If that’s so, then truly, Cedric…”
Her voice cracked, unable to finish as her trembling hands wrapped tightly around him.
“I’m sorry.”
Choked with grief, Iris spoke as if vomiting blood.
“I should have done better… I should have been stronger…”
Is this really you?
Have I really succeeded in gaining the chance to save you?
Her fragile shoulders shook, then she clung to him fiercely, seeking proof again.
His firm, muscular body pressed against hers; she could hear their heartbeats echoing through the contact.
He’s alive. Cedric is alive.
With eyes tightly shut, Iris whispered sadly,
“…What if this is just another dream I’m having?”
“My lady.”
Cedric called softly, gently stroking her delicate back.
“It’s alright.”
He asked nothing more.
“It’s alright. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, with you.”
His hands continued their steady, rhythmic caress, a soothing presence wrapping her whole body.
Her anxious heart gradually calmed to his pulse.
“I’ll stay here until you’re truly at ease. Even if you tell me to leave.”
In the silent stillness, only his low, gentle voice echoed.
Yet his tenderness only made Iris’s tears fall harder, her sobs growing louder.
“I’m sorry… I keep feeling so unsettled.”
“It’s alright.”
“Sniff… I just wanted to do well… but I couldn’t.”
“You can cry more. Cry, Iris.”
He always told her it was okay to cry.
Why was that?
Wouldn’t comforting a weeping person be tiresome for him?
But Iris sobbed for a long time, nestled in Cedric’s embrace.
“Cry more. You can cry freely when you’re by my side.”
Cedric kept gently rubbing Iris’s back until she felt better, until her tears finally stopped flowing.
When she had calmed, Iris buried her face in Cedric’s embrace and asked,
“My Lord Duke.”
“Yes, my lady?”
“Do I seem… strange?”
As her clarity returned, she could objectively see how unusual the situation was.
I must look odd.
Because she’d just woken from a nightmare and wasn’t fully composed, she’d only done things that might raise suspicion.
“I had already suspected that my lady carries her own burdens,” Cedric said, gently pulling back to meet her gaze.
“That’s why I try not to ask questions that might trouble you.”
Ripples stirred in Iris’s sky-blue eyes as they met his deep crimson gaze.
“But when it comes to you, I cannot help but be curious.”
Cedric’s face slowly drew closer. His lips brushed softly against hers, then withdrew.
A kiss as light and ticklish as down feathers.
“Am I the cause of your hardship?” he asked.
“That can’t be,” Iris replied, her voice still tinged with tears.
“If not, then what is it that weighs so heavily on you?”
For a moment, Cedric’s expression darkened.
“Could it be… your family?”
Iris shook her head quietly.
“No.”
In the past, her family might have held some influence over her struggles.
But not now.
Now, her family no longer carried that much weight. They were powerless to help.
“What troubles me most,” she said,
“is simply… myself.”
She had always been her own greatest obstacle.
“Is there a reason you feel this way?” Cedric asked.
“I don’t know how to do things right. I feel like I keep making mistakes.”
Her voice dropped softly, sorrowful.
“That’s why I’m always anxious and scared.”
In Iris’s life, consideration, kindness, and sacrifice were things she felt she had no choice but to offer.
They were her sole purpose, her only worth.
So she couldn’t understand Cedric’s kindness toward her, especially since she had yet to prove any value.
“Why do you treat me so well, my Lord Duke?”
“Reason… you ask?” Cedric frowned thoughtfully.
“When I look at you, a tender feeling swells inside me. I want to see you happy, to care for you.”
Hearing Cedric’s honest heart poured out made Iris’s cheeks flush bright red.
Yet Cedric remained unfazed, gazing deeply at her as he said,
“This is a feeling I’ve never experienced before. It’s difficult to control.”
Beneath his voice lingered a hint of mischievousness.
“Am I not allowed to feel this way toward my lady?”
Chapter 21