With permission granted, Hannah entered with a startled expression.
“Mistress, pardon me. Has Master Cedric come by here?”
“No? He hasn’t.”
As usual, she was searching for Cedric somewhere.
Normally, saying that would be enough for Hannah or Vincent to accept and leave, but today Hannah seemed unusually anxious, pacing at the door.
Finally, Iris set down her quill and rose from her seat.
“Should I go look too?”
“Oh, if you would, I’d be truly grateful. Then I’ll check this way—”
Hannah bowed repeatedly and hurried off to the left.
Good heavens. Were they really so busy they couldn’t search together?
Watching Hannah’s retreating figure, Iris hurried right.
Where does he usually spend this time?
Since Cedric squandered time in so many unpredictable ways, Iris’s meticulous time management made guessing difficult.
So she decided to visit the places she and Cedric had been together, one by one.
First, she went to the training grounds.
“Oh, Mistress, you came.”
Greg handed her something as if he had been expecting her.
“Here you go.”
It was a cup of black tea.
From Greg’s awkward hand, Iris’s mind sparked a memory.
Cedric once handed me black tea.
A sudden memory brought a smile to her lips. But that was one thing—this was another.
“Why did you give this to me?”
“Uh? I was going to clean it up, but Head Butler Vincent said—”
Greg stammered, and Iris just nodded, understanding.
It must be Cedric.
“I see. I’ll deliver this.”
There had to be a reason.
Cedric wasn’t at the training grounds. For the knights practicing there, Iris headed toward the backyard.
Unbeknownst to her, the far end of Crystal Mountain was visible from here.
In winter, the snow sparkled brilliantly.
Could he be over there?
Thinking of the frozen lake, her cheeks flushed. That lake was beautiful, but it must be bitterly cold in winter.
Feeling she was getting distracted despite searching for Cedric, she quickened her pace again.
“Are you here?!”
She shouted up into the trees where they had once climbed together.
No answer came, only a crow fluttering in the distance.
Not here either.
Where could he have gone?
Clutching memories they had shared, Iris set off again.
She realized anew that throughout this short second life, Cedric had done much for her.
If only she hadn’t pushed him away coldly in her first life, they would have shared even more memories.
If I meet him… I must thank him.
But first, she had to find him.
Just then, Iris caught sight of Cedric’s back.
“Your Grace!”
She called out urgently, but he vanished beyond her sight.
Had he not heard?
Clutching the tea cup, Iris rounded a corner.
“Mistress!”
Along with Hannah’s voice came the sound of fireworks bursting—
bang!
Amid scattering petals, people laughed: Hannah, Vincent, and…
“Madam.”
Cedric, holding flowers.
He extended a bouquet toward the surprised Iris.
“I prepared this so my luck wouldn’t run away.”
Though Iris didn’t fully understand his words, tears streamed down her face.
Cedric smiled gently and spoke.
“Happy birthday, Iris.”
She suddenly remembered—today was her birthday.
“Oh, what should I do?”
She couldn’t tell if her feelings were joy or surprise. The tears kept flowing.
So this is… how it feels to be celebrated.
Sobbing softly, smiling through tears, Iris felt the presence of a girl inside her—
A girl who had never been properly celebrated,
A girl who thought she was born wrong.
Now, that girl had grown and was surrounded by those who celebrated her.
Iris felt so grateful and cherished the people around her, shedding tears again and again.
Since the party was arranged on short notice, it couldn’t be prepared with grand extravagance.
Yet, one could feel the wholehearted devotion poured into even the smallest details.
Cedric gently helped the tearful Iris to sit down.
“Happy birthday, Madam.”
Starting with Cedric, everyone cheered and offered their congratulations.
“Truly, congratulations!”
“If only we’d known your birthday earlier, we could have prepared better gifts.”
Regrets over not being informed sooner echoed here and there—responses Iris had never witnessed before.
Until now, she had lived as if deliberately erasing her own birthday, for it held no meaning to her.
“How did you know it was my birthday?”
Iris had never told them her birth date.
“We were never told…”
“There are ways to find out everything.”
Cedric smiled faintly and replied,
“We had to rush the preparations because you didn’t tell us.”
“...”
“Next time, we’ll prepare even better.”
Cedric’s words almost overwhelmed Iris with fresh tears.
It wasn’t that she had never received a gift before.
If anything, Orchid and Lilliana had occasionally brought her something.
“While playing with friends, I thought of you, so I brought this. You like peach tarts, don’t you?”
“This is the necklace Lili wanted. Use it, but don’t think it’s just yours—share it with me.”
Those gifts had been so careless they were better left unreceived. And it didn’t stop at the gift itself.
“You get your gifts well enough, but this is all Lili’s got? And you call yourself her sister?”
“No, brother. Sister never liked my gifts anyway… maybe that’s why.”
That’s why Iris found it easier not to celebrate her birthday at all. It spared her the burden of trouble.
Yet, to someone else, it seemed different.
Brown, the steward who was the only adult Iris could trust, once approached her quietly behind Lilliana’s party.
“I was busy with Miss Lilliana’s preparations, so I couldn’t deliver this earlier.”
He handed her a gift discreetly.
“Miss Iris, you are also someone worthy of love. Happy birthday.”
“Am I... truly someone like that?”
“Of course. One day, those who cherish and love you will appear. Those who recognize true value.”
The gift was a new sword sheath, shimmering pale violet with a faint trace of crimson—like her own hair.
Iris cherished the gift.
“Hey? Sister, is that new?”
But not long after, Lilliana noticed it.
“Ah…”
As always, it ended ruined and discarded.
That gift was too much for her.
What was precious to her was meaningless to others.
So Iris gave up.
But she was okay. What she had received was not just a gift, but Brown’s heart.
Truly, she was okay.
“Then what about Brown?”
“He was cut off for failing to fulfill his duties.”
The one she relied on was erased by her father.
Since then, Iris could no longer trust Brown’s words.
Who could truly love her?
Even those who initially thought well of Iris changed their hearts after meeting her family.
Her birthday was a painful memory—one she probably tried to forget subconsciously all this time.
Who would listen even if she expressed her sadness now?
They would say it’s too late.
Why speak then? Why make the family look like villains after the fact?
“Oh dear, crying again.”
“What to do with our lady?”
So Iris couldn’t stop her tears.
Her emotions, fragile and ready to shatter, drew the concern and comfort of those around her.
That scene brought memories flooding back.
Even before her reincarnation, her deliberate distance left others at a loss.
She thought she didn’t belong beside such wonderful people.
‘Come to think of it.’
Back then, gifts had appeared on her desk on this very date.
Iris never opened them.
She was but a leftover human clinging to the perfect Cedric.
She felt undeserving.
Even when offered, she stiffly refused.
She didn’t want to be a burden. Spoiling herself was a luxury Iris was never allowed.
“Someday, those who cherish and love you will appear.”
But she had been wrong.
There were those who never scolded her weakness.
Those who said this wasn’t selfishness.
Not waiting for next year, but those who told her “I love you” right now.
They had not changed. People appeared who loved her like a brown stallion fiercely loyal to its master.
There were those who sensed her emotions and recognized her true self.
Iris was not alone.
Amid words of concern, Cedric quietly wiped Iris’s tears with the back of his hand.
That gesture felt like a silent command to shake off the festering, stagnant emotions she had been holding onto—and so she did.
“Try letting it out.”
Hannah gently placed a gift onto her trembling hand.
With careful fingertips, Iris unwrapped the present, cautious not to damage the wrapping.
The gifts were varied—some offered jewels, others handcrafted treasures made with devotion.
Letters.
There were birthday letters too, things Iris had thought would never come her way.
When she had fallen ill recently, she had received many heartfelt gifts. Since then, Vincent and Hannah had frequently exchanged even small tokens.
“We thought of you, so we brought these.”
Even Cedric.
She felt undeserving—of these gifts and these people.
Even now, she worried if she should accept them. But these people cared for her so deeply—refusing would surely wound them.
Iris knew well what it was like to have a heart rejected by family.
“...Thank you.”
For those who celebrated her very existence, there was only one thing she must do:
Become a better person, strive harder.
She must bring before them the ending to this world she had once ruined.
“This is the first time I’ve ever been properly celebrated on my birthday, so I must have looked ugly.”
Iris smiled shyly.
But those around her were shocked by the words.
First time?
She was from Valentine—the capital’s prestigious clan.
When someone of that house did anything, the tale spread all the way to distant Leontheim.
So that’s why.
Iris had always acted as if she possessed nothing of her own.
At first, it seemed she cherished her belongings too much. But in truth, none of it belonged to her heart.
This woman…
The depths of the darkness she had endured were beyond measure.
Among the melancholic crowd, Cedric looked at Iris and smiled.
“You truly are more beautiful when you smile.”
“B-But I was crying…”
Her eyes were surely swollen and puffy now.
With a cold fingertip, Cedric gently caressed the swelling beneath her eyes.
“Still, it’s cute.”
Saying that, he helped Iris to her feet.
“My gift will come a little later.”
Without a word, Iris allowed herself to be led by his hand. Before they knew it, they stood in a space cleared by the others.
“Shall we dance a song first?”
He bowed his head slightly and extended his hand, still gazing at Iris.
Cheers erupted around them at Cedric’s words. The musicians, sensing the moment, began playing.
In Cedric’s eyes, Iris’s smile shone brighter than anyone else’s.
As she placed her hand upon his, the hem of her dress swirled lightly.
The two danced gently, like lovers from a fairy tale, or exquisite sculptures brought to life.
Amid applause and the festive atmosphere, the joyous mood bloomed like a gentle celebration.
After three songs, they paused.
Sweat beads dotted Iris’s forehead as she caught her breath.
Dancing before so many people—
I thought I’d be embarrassed,
she thought.
But she had focused so much on the dance itself that shyness didn’t overwhelm her.
She didn’t want to let go of the hand holding hers.
For this moment, Iris forgot the harshness of reality.
Looking into Cedric’s red eyes, she finally released her grip.
“Thank you. Truly.”
Around them, the crowd laughed and chatted, drunk on the party’s spirit.
Iris liked this better than the worried faces she’d seen earlier.
Even standing quietly by Cedric’s side felt comforting.
“Aren’t you curious about your birthday gifts?”
Cedric asked, watching Iris, who found happiness in simple things.
Ah, yes.
She had completely forgotten.
Nodding, Iris followed Cedric quietly as he glanced around and led her away.
Everyone was quite drunk, oblivious to the two slipping away. This was precisely what Cedric intended.
Not far, but out of sight and mind of the crowd, lay a small box.
Iris carefully unwrapped it to reveal a tiny music box.
“This is…”
It was a lullaby music box given to children in the Empire as a gift.
Why had he given this to her?
Curious, she wound the music box.
Chapter 51