# 29
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Ian almost doubted his ears.
But there was no mistake – Eloise had just referred to herf in the third person. After briefly scanning her with a complicated expression, Ian spoke.
“You are drunk.”
“Yes, couldn't you tell? I tried hard not to let my guard down at the party.”
“Didn't you always refuse to drink?”
“…Really? I didn’t even know that.”
“I really tried not to get drunk, though.”
Since when can you avoid getting drunk just by trying not to?
If you don't want to get drunk, wouldn't it be easier not to drink in the first place?
The thought rose to the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed it and gave her a dry look.
He was planning to finally find out what was on Eloise's mind tonight, but at this pace, they wouldn't have anything resembling a proper conversation.
Ian shook his head slightly and extended his hand.
“Take my hand.”
“Oh, escort~”
With a little joy, Eloise smiled faintly.
Her expression was softer than usual, as if some screws had been loosened.
It was an unusual sight, to say the least.
“Yes, I will accompany you. So, please take my hand.”
He waited for her to take his hand as she had taught him, but instead of doing so, Eloise stared at his hand without moving.
"… my lady?"
"No, no! There's still a long way to go."
Eloise interrupted, frowning as she muttered.
“This kind of accompaniment will not work.”
"Do you understand? This won't work!"
The soft smile she had been wearing moments ago had disappeared, replaced by a sharp tone.
Then she raised her eyelids to make direct eye contact with Ian.
Her turquoise eyes, streaked with emeralds, sparkled with resentment.
"Do you really think you can get away with this? If this is what you're planning, you should change your mind before it's too late."
“…What on earth are you trying to say?”
Ian replied in a sigh filled tone.
He had no idea what she was talking about.
He thought she was moderately drunk, but now it seemed like she was completely drunk, barely managing to stay upright.
However, Eloise continued to stare at him stubbornly with a deep furrow in her eyebrows before letting out a deep sigh.
“Do you think holding my hand is enough? Do you really think that's enough? You have no idea how lonely I feel...”
“...excuse me?”
"You don't know anything! You don't even know why I would go to this extent, do you? Of course, you wouldn't! Ah, you're like an empty-headed robot!"
“Empty…what?”
Ian frowned in confusion at her incomprehensible words.
At the same time, Eloise's expression became more distorted, she almost cried.
“…I might actually beat you. What’s so special about being a sword master? Damn.”
Finally, she murmured, pushing Ian's outstretched hand away. For the first time, Ian's face showed signs of genuine bewilderment.
“Ma’am, you should be careful with your words.”
"What's really special about you? Well, you're pretty cool! But is being good-looking all that matters? In fact, not just being good-looking... but still!"
“I just wanted to meet someone good, not just someone pretty, and be happier...”
Eloise mumbled, rubbing her cheek with the back of her hand, staring at Ian.
It was almost impressive that she had managed to maintain her composure throughout the party until she had reached this point.
“Ma’am, please take my hand.”
“…just answer one question.”
As her sudden question broke the silence, Ian, who was extending his hand towards Eloise again, answered.
“What do you want to ask?”
“Are you willing to admit it?”
“Recognize what?”
“How difficult you made things for me. How much I suffered and endured alone. Would you listen if I told you...?”
"Of course, you won't. I can't even talk to anyone about this."
Ian's hand was hovering in the air. He looked up to meet her gaze, his expression hardening as he stood frozen in place.
“You won't understand anyway, so I'd rather live well without you.”
Damn, I really hate this.
Eloise muttered, letting out another heavy sigh.
“…But I can’t do that, so please be nice to me. Not just by offering your hand like that. You have to be nice.”
“Don't make me feel lonely. You don't even know how miserable this is...”
There was a faint shudder in her last words, which Ian easily noticed.
His blue eyes twitched slightly, just as he was about to say something.
“Seriously, what do I see in a man like this...”
Muttering, Eloise suddenly swayed. Ian instinctively moved quickly and grabbed her.
"my lady?"
“Mmm...”
In Ian's arms, Eloise seemed to be sleeping peacefully, a complete contrast to the sharp-tongued woman who had been attacking him moments before.
Her shallow breath touched his ear.
Was she really asleep? After all that screaming you just did?
Ian's facial expression softened as he stared at Eloise in disbelief.
There were traces of tears around her closed eyes.
He quietly thought about her words echoing in his ears.
“...miserable.”
It was hard to believe that these words came from the same Eloise who had acted so emotionless for the past two years.
Ian's eyes paused at the redness around hers before he looked away.
“Did she cry like that in the park that day too?”
Because she felt lonely and miserable?
If Kyle were here, he would have taken the opportunity to scold Ian, saying, "See? I told you so." But at that moment, Ian wasn't preoccupied with Kyle's possible reprimands or accusations.
“You say ‘miserable,’ your highness.”
“This is a sign of weakness.”
“So you don't feel anything.”
“Just don't feel anything.”
“Don't get attached to anyone.”
“You don't need anyone by your side.”
“This will bring you nothing but misery.”
Why these words resurfaced now, Ian couldn't say. Or rather, he knew exactly why. He bit his lips, and a bitter taste from the past suddenly overwhelmed him.
‘…Such ideas are uess.’
He shook his head, trying to push away the thoughts that were stubbornly clinging to his mind.
This is the kind of marriage it was from the beginning.
Eloise was only there to fulfill her role as Duchess.
There was no need to delve into her inner feelings.
All Ian had to do was give her what she wanted and keep her as his duchess.
That was it. There was no need to draw parallels with his childhood.
“Because you wouldn't understand anyway, I'd rather live well without you.”
“Seriously, what do I even see in a guy like this…?”
However, the memory of Eloise's mutterings lingered in his mind, consuming his thoughts.
'She said she loves me.'
They hadn't had anything resembling a proper conversation, but somehow Ian felt like he had finally understood the answer to a question that had been bothering him for a long time.
The reason behind her distant behavior and the way she talks as if there is always an inevitable end.
“How ironic, to realize that now.”
From the beginning, they were incompatible.
What difference would it make if he understood that now?
At least, that's what Ian told himf.
All he could do now was fulfill his basic obligations to her, as she requested.
“…Seems like it would be best to discourage her from drinking in the future.”
Ian murmured softly, then carefully lifted Eloise and carried her into the bedroom. However, he did notice that his touch was gentler than it had been moments ago.