Chapter Forty-Four
.Chapter forty-four.
Seeing his white gloves that he had taken off piled on the table, soaked with my tears, was enough to make me feel grateful to him even if he was comforting me for a purpose.
“Even if you have a purpose to get closer to me, I have received this favor from you. That is why I am willing to return it to you.”
I smiled brightly as I faced him and he looked at me with a furtive look on his face.
“I liked what you did so much that I wouldn't hate you even if you were approaching me for some purpose you wanted to ask for.”
He was about to say something but then closed his mouth.
He seems to be thinking deeply about something.
I waited for him quietly.
However, when he opened his mouth again, he said something unexpected: “Of course... I cannot completely deny your words. Saying that I did not know you before the first meeting would be a complete lie... But in fact, on my honor, the meeting that day was a coincidence.”
After he said that, he thought about what I said and laughed a little. He continued: “Of course, I understand you. Even if it were me, I would have felt very suspicious if it had been the first meeting like this... Maybe I would have researched the matter...”
Suddenly he looked at me with new eyes and said, “I thought I had nothing in common with you, but there are some surprising similarities.”
“But some things are very different,” he murmured softly. “If it were me, as soon as I had this feeling of doubt, I would feel so angry that I would think that all the good things I have received so far are worthless...You really have a different way of thinking than me.”
He mumbled quietly, then raised his head and suddenly spoke: “But I don’t want anything. My only wish is... that next time, can you invite me? I want to see your favorite places.”
I looked at him confused. I looked at him to gauge whether his words were sincere or not, but there was nothing I could read on his calm face.
His expression was so clear that he never seemed to reveal any emotion he didn't mean.
I hesitated whether I should question him or draw conclusions.
When I finally made up my mind, I slowly opened my mouth:.
“There is an artistic street that I go to often.”
If I decline to this extent, it either means I really don't care, or even if I do care, I don't want to say so.
Even if I don't have a definitive answer to my questions, I can't deny that there's a part of me that might be ready to fall into his trap if he's deceiving me.
Even if I had asked him, I could not have gotten an answer, and I was only willing to deceive him once at most: “There is a street called Jezeba. How about we meet there next time? It is a beautiful street especially on sunny days. Moreover, I can be a very good mentor there. “I love the exhibitions that contain paintings by amateur and poor artists there.”
I hesitated as I spoke, wondering whether I would be satisfied with such images when I thought of him, who valued them with careful and profound thought.
Of course, even before my eyes, it seemed new and unique, but I wasn't confident in his eyes.
“Of course, it may not be special in your eyes, but...”
After my hesitation, came his refreshing reply: “Gladly. I would really like to go.”
Max smiled, his eyes sparkling like crescent moons.
I don't know if this was a good move or not but at least I felt like I returned the favor a little.
On my way home after saying goodbye to Max, the moon was beautiful.
My heart was overwhelmed by his positive encounter and I felt a sweet and sour feeling as I reviewed the day's events.
Wipe it on my face. His softly understanding words.
The silk gloves he carefully placed on the table, wet with my tears.
However, I was not childishly excited, in the past I believed without a doubt that this would lead to a future between us.
Now I have the bitterness of being an adult and I presupposed that this would not lead to a reality or a future, but at the same time it was sweet.
I thought I wanted to dream this dream for as long as possible.
What if this was just a temporary dream, an illusion, or someone's trick?.
Or what if it becomes just a small, useless memory in the future?.
I was so lonely that even a little kindness like this would arouse these feelings in me, even if it came at a price.
Even if I know that the thirst will eventually become as thirsty and painful as someone drinking sea water.
But now, my lonely heart is a little full.
I looked at the moon through the carriage window.
The moon shining clearly in the sky was so beautiful and so far away that I felt a little excited but also sad.
However, as soon as I reached home, I was so shocked that I completely forgot all the thoughts I had while riding in the carriage.
"What the hell happened?"
When I asked the maid, my mother, who had gone out to see what was happening, asked me in confusion: “I want to ask you that. What are these paintings? I don’t know much about investing in art, but they don’t seem to be paintings that can be bought easily...I saw pictures of seals that even I, who didn’t know anything, recognized.”
At the entrance to the house, there was a long board wrapped in soft paper.
Before I knew it, Hannah ran up to me and asked me a question: “Miss, they say those paintings are a gift for you? These are the things I bought at the Countess’s salon today...”
I suddenly realized…it was Max.
I walked quickly, almost running, and stood in front of the painting.
The painting was visible through the high-quality translucent white paper in which it was packaged.
A drawing of a table with a basket full of peaches is painted in oil to match the artist's vision of color.
I remembered our words: “I love using colors in this beautiful way... Especially when this person draws fruit, he draws it with love... It is very sweet and beautiful. I use pink and yellow as a red color and to give it a halo... It is as if there is a scent to the painting.”
The image of ancient gods in translucent ivory color in a night sky, embracing each other, playing the lyre, looked dreamy.
"I love the transience of this painting.... Although the gods are all doing their own thing, they show no joy or sorrow. It is as if all this is impermanent. The fact that the color of old, lifeless ivory is used as the main subject further emphasizes the inhuman, worn-out, melancholy feeling. It is absurd, but attractive. It seems to give a strange solace because everything is meaningless in the eyes of the gods and is old and repetitive."
Oh, these are all paintings that I said were beautiful and dazzling.
I stood in amazement in front of the paintings.
At that time, my mother came to me and hurriedly asked: “Carmela... Why are you crying?”
I touched my cheek after hearing my mother's words.
I didn't even know I was crying, but I was crying.
Fool. He said he would never make me cry again.
Even before a single day passed, he made me cry again.
It was the first time I learned the sad truth that too much kindness can be cruel.
I'm so sad because this kind of nice thing can't be mine, and it will pass quietly through me, I feel like it, but I shouldn't feel that way.
How can I hope that this kindness will be given to me?.
I wanted to love and trust. But it's really hard to trust.
His words about trust being very difficult came to mind.
Should I ask him his last name? Should I ask him how he knows me?.
Should I ask him who you are?.
Should I ask him why you're so nice to me?.
Should I ask him if he likes me?.
But I shook my head. Although I revealed my full name, I did not reveal my last name.
His method of disguising his identity is ambiguous... He was saying that he did not know me and at the same time he said that it would be a lie if he said that he did not know me at all.
In the end, I couldn't come to any conclusion, I just put my hand on the frame of the painting and played with it.
But even if I didn't know his true intention or reason, the warmth in my heart was real.
Like a candle that shines in the dark.
So, I decided not to ask any questions.
In just two meetings, he gave me a lot.
Therefore, I also wanted to not ask any questions and let him lead me.
Although I don't know what exactly he wants.
Hana received something from the person who finally brought the plates and came running to me, saying, “Ah… Ma’am, the worker gave me this… He said this should be delivered to you separately.”
Something sparkled in the moonlight on her hand.
Looking at it closely, I saw that it was a rose made of silver.
I smiled happily, but I couldn't stop the laugh... I didn't know how many roses he had prepared. It was strange and attractive.
Is he planning to use her as a symbol for himself?.
I felt a strange feeling of happiness and excitement as I thought about living and anticipating tomorrow... Yes, that was enough.
Eventually, all of those paintings hung in my room.
After that, I hung the rest of the paintings focusing on the places I visit most often.
I don't like decorations, so my room was completely empty and neglected by me, but when I hung a few paintings, the atmosphere completely changed.
Not only that, but I would frequently smile while looking at the paintings, and Rysdell wondered why I was smiling. “Do you like him that much, miss? You keep smiling while looking at the painting.”
Those words confused me and I asked: “Did you laugh?”
I have no idea.
Rysdel nodded loudly: “Yes… every time you look at the painting you smile.”
As I looked at the warm-colored painting of the peach basket, I realized that I was definitely smiling this time.
I couldn't help but notice that the corners of my mouth naturally rose.
“But the picture is so beautiful...the more I look at it, the better I feel.”
There was another person who had an unexpected reaction to these gifts.
My father was excited to hear that a fortune had been driven into the house and came running.
Originally, my father wasn't very interested in art.
My father always did his best to be practical and realistic.
If I had asked my father to decorate the house he would have painted it all grey.
This is because it cannot be noticed even when the time is right, but he had artistic taste.
“This painting was sold at auction for three thousand gold coins last year… If you keep it for a while, its price will definitely rise.”
My father looked closely at the seal on the painting, raised his head, and looked at the painting regretfully: “It is not the Angel Series, unfortunately… Among this artist’s paintings, the Angel Series is the most expensive...”
My face slowly hardened like my father's as I listened to him talk about setting a value for a work of art, how and when to sell it, and what an artist's price is.
“This artist is intelligent...this painting would be of great value if sold at a short-term auction.”
My father only looked at beautiful paintings…….
My father, who did not notice that my facial expression became worse as I stared at him, finally spoke enthusiastically: “I used to always buy things that were of no value, but this time I got a lot of old things of value... Can I sell some of them instead of you? You are not specialized in this kind of thing...”
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