Is it wrong for me to like seeing the villain suffer [32]
I stared in amazement at Martha.
'Is it possible that she was in pain all this time just because she couldn't reveal that she couldn't bear to see disgusting things?'
Martha Lee confessed almost everything, and said with a grim face:
“Are you finding me as ridiculous as I thought?”
Then she sighed deeply and added, as if talking to herself:
“And what mockery could be greater than this? For me to be the mistress of the notorious Cayenne house, Martha Cayenne, who is said to have such a ridiculous defect when stabbed with a sword does not produce a drop of blood...!”
I immediately told her:
"That's not at all ridiculous. And it's no fault of you, Miss Martha."
Martha raised her hand to cover her forehead, stared at me, and said in a troubled voice:
“It is a flaw that I should have overcome a long time ago... but I failed in my effort.”
I answered her quickly:
“No, it is just your nature and nothing more. This is just your personality, and there is no need for you to hate yourself or forcefully try to change it.”
Martha fell silent.
I remembered how I, too, had once seriously wondered: Is there something wrong with me because I have strange tendencies that people disagree with?
That's why I understand Martha's feelings more. Although my situation is completely opposite to hers.
Martha sighed slowly as she listened to my words, then said:
“If it were up to me, I would send the knights to Kelston right now... But it's not enough for me to just send the knights, I need someone to take control of the situation for me...”
But she quickly shook her head and looked weak:
“No... What sane person enjoys seeing rotting corpses? Whoever finds pleasure in it must be mentally ill...”
I just looked at her in silence.
'Here I am! The psycho you're talking about!'
Strange... ever since I heard about the living dead, I have been so eager to see them that I have been deprived of sleep, while Martha almost died of grief and distress because of them.
‘Really… the world is wide and inclinations are different.’
I wanted to beg her to let me go myself, but I realized that then she would think I was a very strange person and would never erase that image of me.
In order to prevent myself from uttering that plea, I held myself together and said slowly:
“I'll go.”
She said in amazement:
“What?”
“Please send me for you, Miss Martha.”
Her eyes widened as she asked:
“Aren't you afraid?”
She smiled and said:
“My desire to help you is stronger than my fear.”
She looked at me for a long time without a word, but her features showed that she was truly affected by what I said.
'Very good.'
I shouted to myself for joy.
A person does not forget those who stand by him in adversity.
So I can see the zombies with my own eyes, and make Martha indebted to me at the same time.
But after thinking, she said:
“I appreciate your words, but it is not necessary. The risk is too great. It is better to send the knights alone.”
I immediately objected:
“On the contrary, your words convinced me even more that I should go. Even for the sake of the knights themselves...!”
Martha understood my meaning immediately:
“True… There are those who say that those who are attacked by the undead become like them. Your healing abilities could be of great help.”
Then she let out a thoughtful sigh:
“Hmm...”
She seemed inclined to actually take me with her, but something was bothering her. She looked at me and said:
“But… if something happened to you, a conflict might arise with Alheim… and if they knew that I sent you to Kelston, they might wage war on me.”
I smiled and said:
“So you're worried about me, Miss Martha?”
She hesitated a little, then said coldly, averting her gaze:
“You can say that.”
I sent her a look full of gratitude, and she cleared her throat in embarrassment and said:
“It's strange for me to say this when I kidnapped you...”
Her gaze fell to the ground as she muttered. She then reminded me of Arkiel on our first meeting, so I laughed unconsciously.
“What's wrong?” I asked in surprise.
I said, smiling:
“Nothing...but it seems like you two really are brothers.”
“Huh?”
“It doesn't matter. Anyway, if you're afraid for my safety, there's a solution.”
I did not say that I would go recklessly like this without preparation, but rather I had a plan in mind.
Martha tilted her head, waiting for clarification, and said confidently:
“I will hire guards to protect me! If we hire Tashin’s mercenary squad, you will undoubtedly be reassured.”
Upon hearing the name “Tashin,” her eyes widened in astonishment.
It is a squad that brings together soldiers of different nationalities, and its members are known to be among the most skilled and powerful mercenaries of all time.
'In fact, their leader himself once tried to bring Arkell in, so there's no doubt that Martha knows them.'
But she said cautiously:
“But their fees are very high.”
I smiled again and said:
“Don't worry about the money. I still have the money you and Erkel gave me.”
With this check alone I can hire the strongest mercenaries around.
'It's true that I have to spend it so quickly... but looking to the future is much more important.'
Martha gave me a valuable check for just a little advice about the Emperor's illness, so what if I did what she couldn't?
‘The reward then will be exponentially greater, and will not be compared to the first check.’
I had an innocent face and shining eyes, but inside I was salivating with greed.
'Then if I succeed in this mission, Martha will have no choice but to acknowledge my worth.'
I win Martha's affection, and Martha wins the Emperor's affection.
Long-term profits with the three Cayenne brothers are much more valuable than limited money in front of me.
'If I intend to stay here long, I have to think strategically. Yes, that's right.'
I stared at Martha, waiting to hear her approval. After looking at me for a while, she asked quietly:
“…Aren’t you sorry? It’s hard-earned money, and it’s not your duty.”
Indeed, anyone who knows Martha Cain will not be surprised by her denunciation, as she does not care about anything that does not directly concern her.
I smiled lightly and said:
“You think I'm stupid, don't you?”
She looked at me for a long time and then said frankly:
“Yes.”
“But humans always do foolish things... especially for the sake of those they love!”
She was silent.
I added, staring at her steadily:
“And I… I love you, Miss Martha.”
She said in a hesitant tone, her eyes on me:
“…Thank you.”
Then she coughed lightly and added:
“My thanks to you is not only because you offered to go to Kelston instead of me... but because you did not mock my flaw when I confessed it to you.”
I told her firmly:
“I told you it's not a shame at all.”
After looking at me for a while, she nodded and said:
“Okay, so be it. I will discuss the matter with the Tashin Mercenary Squad first.”
"Thank you very much!"
“Rather, I should be thanking you. But I have a request... Please don’t tell anyone why I missed the mission. Especially Arkel and Naran.”
She muttered with a grim face, as if imagining the scene:
“If these two idiots knew my weakness, they would not leave me alone... They would mock me until I died.”
I couldn't imagine Erkel and Naran playing with their older sister, but the family has faces that outsiders don't know.
I nodded firmly and said:
“I swear I will not reveal this to anyone.”
"Please."
“But on the condition... that you no longer allow yourself to suffer because of this nature.”
She said with a sigh:
“I'll try.”
She smiled brightly and then greeted her by saying:
“Then see you.”
And she left the room.
'Is it possible that I can really see zombies?'
I couldn't contain my excitement.
'But seeing it just once isn't enough... Ah, yes! I can take that thing.'
An idea popped into my head for a suitable item.
‘I have to ask Huan to secure it for me.’
❖ ❖ ❖
The next day, Arkell quietly entered Martha's office.
His sister was engrossed as usual in the pile of papers, and did not look up at him.
He said directly, without preamble:
“I cannot fulfill your request to accompany you to Kelston. I apologize.”
She simply replied:
“I understand. It's okay.”
Arkell raised an eyebrow in surprise at her quick surrender.
His sister is known for her toughness and determination, and he came determined to refuse until the end.
'Doesn't she really care?'
He turned to leave... but her voice stopped him:
“There is no help... even if your wife has to endure sitting among strange men.”
Arkell stopped suddenly and stared at his sister:
“...What did you say just now?”
His red eyes glowed like flames as he slowly repeated:
“Why should Lizzie be among strange men?”
Martha pretended to be cold as she faced him, but inside she had a sly smile.
‘If he agrees to accompany, I don’t need Tashin’s squad nor to spend huge amounts of money.’
One man like Erkel is equivalent to dozens of teams of mercenaries.
It is true that the money primarily belongs to Lizzie, and its fate does not directly belong to Martha, but...
‘No, since Lizzy is now part of Caiyin’s house, her money is part of Caiyin’s precious wealth.’
She became convinced that she was doing this to protect the family’s money, and then she began explaining to Arkiel what had happened.
❖ ❖ ❖
I spent the whole day chasing Hwan and begging him to grant me what I asked for.
He hesitated at first and said that he could not guarantee anything, but I did not let him go for a moment until he became fed up and said:
“Okay, okay, I will. Just please stop being so pushy.”
'Since he promised me this, he must keep it.'
I was confident and excited, when a familiar voice knocked on the door:
Knock, knock.
"my lady."
It was Arkle's voice.
I opened the door, and he looked up at me and suddenly said:
“I'm the one who's going.”
I said in amazement:
“Huh?”
His face was impassive and expressionless, but behind his calm he seemed to be holding back something violent.
“I'm the one going. So we don't need anyone else.”
***
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