I rolled my eyes and looked around. Debris was scattered everywhere, as if everything in this room had been crushed. Just chaos and clutter that hurts the eyes.
I shook my head vigorously. Impossible. This is not where Cesar should be. A place full of sharp and dangerous things like this absolutely cannot be good for him. He must be in a brighter, warmer place. He needs that. Because only that is the life a person deserves.
So I have to remind myself over and over again. As if to engrave in his mind that everything that is happening here is, after all, truly necessary for Cesar.
He could not huddle and live his whole life in this cramped room. To him, this is nothing more than a ritual that he must go through to become happy.
With my mind made up, I slightly parted my lips.
“You… are really scared, aren't you?”
"……UH."
I spoke, his body immediately cowered.
"It's OK."
I spoke slowly, softly, but in a determined voice.
Then I did what I had thought about before. Slowly took out from my lap the item I had hidden.
"Cesar. Come here."
At that moment, a wind blew in from somewhere, causing the curtains to flutter slightly. Sunlight poured in, illuminating the space between us. The colored stone attached to the object I held caught the light, breaking into dazzling sparkles.
That's the dagger Giovinetta gave me.
Silver light flashed, making him frown. Just that much light is enough to make him uncomfortable because he is too sensitive.
From somewhere, thump… thump… like a drum echoed. No, that's not the sound of drums, it's my heart beating wildly, pumping continuously, pumping blood throughout my body.
The beat was so loud that it echoed in my ears. I felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest.
“…I think.”
I took a deep breath. Then slowly lift up the skirt. My hand was shaking so much it felt like I was going to drop it at any moment. But this is something I must do.
"UH……."
Finally Cesar raised his head. But right now I don't have the heart to look at his face. The situation was so urgent that I could only stare at one point.
"There's no time left. Other than now..."
I silently counted the numbers. Then slowly unscrew the knife sheath. Even though it looked like a decoration, today's blade was sharpened to a chilling sharpness. That cold steel light was so sharp that it seemed like it wanted to rip my heart out. Fear surged, I swallowed hard.
Ten… nine… eight… seven… The number started to decrease. I gritted my teeth so the sound in the room wouldn't leak out at all.
I never thought that one day I would have to do something this terrible. But I have to.
…Four, three, two, one.
“Ukh!”
A moan escaped my mouth. The knife fell to the floor with a clinking sound, and a burning pain that seemed to tear apart his calf resounded.
Hearing that sound, Cesar raised his head. But I didn't have the strength to look at him. I could only bite the back of my hand, trying to swallow the moan that wanted to escape.
Cesar slowly crawled closer to me just like the first time we met. Although his movements were very slow, his purpose was only one.
Red blood flowed from my calves, down to my ankles.
The thing I thought about the longest was where to make the incision. His hands couldn't work anymore even if he wore gloves to cover them, those visible wounds would sooner or later make people suspicious.
So I had no choice but to use my feet. It's this injured leg. At least, it had one advantage: if I got hurt, I could blame it on the fall.
It is not unusual for a hobbler to fall and get scratched if his leg is injured. Even though it hurts, it's not weird. I always have a dull pain in this leg. So the only option is this.
Today I prepared myself, so I didn't wear socks. But all arguments disappeared when the hot pain gradually spread down to his calves.
“Hurry… hurry.”
Feeling him getting closer and closer, I quickly lifted my skirt. Everything started without hesitation. I closed my eyes tightly.
The first thing I felt were his fangs. It had been several days since he had drank blood, so he must have been very hungry. My shoulder bounced with pain.
“Ah—uk.”
Tears rose from the pain to the point of suffocation. The feeling of hot breath blowing up made me feel like I was about to faint. The sound of him biting and sucking blood was so clear it was terrifying. Sweat beaded on his forehead, then cold, then hot again.
I sobbed without a sound. If tears can ease the pain, I'm willing to let them fall. Just this much is nothing. I told myself that.
“…U—uk!”
Then again, the pain seemed to tear down my spine, making me jump. As if punishing me for daring to think it was only “this much.” His fangs slashed through the wound so painfully that I wanted to complain.
But I can't let him hear me cry. Those sensitive knights can rush in at any time if they hear unusual movements. I had to choke each sob, trying to stay silent.
My breathing was so tight that I didn't know how to breathe. I opened my eyes and looked at him. Tears rolled down my cheeks.
The scene before my eyes shocked me. The prince of the empire is prostrate at my feet. No guy my age was licking my calves.
That feeling was so strange. If it weren't for the searing pain, I would have found it both strange and... dangerous in a different way.
I never thought anyone would put their lips on this place. Some people don't even want to touch me. This leg must always be dirty, worth hiding, to avoid being seen by others.
Yet he placed his lips on my skin. As if I was what he needed. He found me unconsciously. Just thinking that, the pain suddenly became bearable.
His throat continuously moved as he swallowed my blood. I gently stroked his hair.
“Ce… Cesar…”
My voice was hoarse, like it was mixed with metal. The whole body trembled with tension and excitement. Then he slowly raised his head.
“Now… stop.”
"Stop?"
His blood-stained lips moved. Yes, must stop. I nodded vigorously.
“It hurts a lot.”
“Um.”
But as soon as he finished speaking, he bent down and licked the blood still flowing down his ankle. The movement was so slow that a numbness ran down my spine.
“No, that's enough, really stop.”
I tried to back away but couldn't. Cesar grabbed my ankle tightly. I had to change my mind, increasing the strength in the hand that was stroking his hair.
“Are you okay now?”
"Fine?"
His expression was calmer than before. Yes, he's okay.
“Should… stop?”
I urgently repeat. But Cesar still looked regretfully at my calves. The wound has healed and won't bleed anymore as long as he doesn't bite again.
“Ugh……”
He seemed to be wondering intensely. Then it seemed like something was decided.
“Cesar!”
It seemed like he didn't want to listen to me at all. He lowered his head again.
I quickly covered his mouth.
"Stop."
Of course, if your mouth is gagged, you can't speak. Only hot breath trembled under my hand. And then the warm, wet feeling licking my palm made me let go in surprise.
“Oh my god…”
Now he was busy licking my palm, as if it were a delicious dish. His tongue slid across each knuckle, making me unable to concentrate.
“That's sad, Cesar…”
What a disobedient husband. I dodged his tongue that kept chasing me, trying to get his attention on me.
“Hey…”
When I spoke, he seemed to concentrate a little more. So I decided to tell him what we would have to do next.
“In three months, we will attend the banquet.”
"Dinner?"
Even though I didn't expect him to understand, I still slowly explained. That it was a banquet hosted by the queen, and we had to attend.
“It will be fun. There will be lots of delicious food. Many people…”
“Happy?”
He smiled innocently, rubbing his forehead against mine. For him, "happy" must mean having me caress his forehead.
“Yeah… it will be fun.”