Right now, I just want to rush to him, beg, or at least scream until my chest bursts, pounding his heart with my fists of hatred.
Unlike the people who hated and despised me from the beginning, he is not like that. He is not allowed to treat me like that.
Back then, when he was afraid of humans, when he was afraid of thunder, when he growled at the whole world, he still hugged me, as if I was the only shelter in his life.
Then when the curse lifted and he became whole again, he left me.
While Cesar was absent, I felt imprisoned in the palace. The times I went to the front lines to aid soldiers or served as a messenger to other countries, it was not me but my half-sister, Giovineta.
At first, when rumors about them spread, I didn't believe them.
So every day, I write letters to him. Using all the abilities I've been given, eyes that see through fate, to warn of danger, ask about his safety, and sometimes... ask if he's thinking about me. But despite waiting tirelessly, no response letter came.
Two years have passed, and there has never been a picture.
Does he also treat me like the filthy pile of trash that everyone often talks about?
After being freed from the curse, couldn't he bear the scandal of marrying an ordinary person, like me?
An unlucky person from the Flores family. An illegitimate child only does a lowly job like a servant. Furthermore, his legs were crippled. Such a person is only worthy of a monster prince who has killed many women.
But now, to Cesar, who has become a true prince, I am an irreconcilable stain.
"I'm pregnant. It's Cesar's child."
Giovineta told me so. That she was having an affair with my husband. Cesar chose you, so I was left behind.
"He used to love you. Isn't that imprinted on your neck?"
The imprint on the nape of the neck is still clearly visible.
"Princess? That position did not belong to you. Everything is just getting back on track."
So they said, leave my position.
While I lurked like a ghost in the palace, enduring the cruel words of the queen and the nobles, Giovineta was a favored person in society and admired by the whole world.
Unlike me, she is the child of the main family, receiving all the love from her parents. She has everything I never had, living a life without deprivation.
And now, she even stole my husband.
Soon, the palace will hold a solemn banquet to celebrate the victory and safe return of Cesar. Standing next to him, of course, will be the beautiful and noble Giovineta.
That was predestined. I already knew. So I tried to convince myself that I had to accept it calmly. But the heart does not listen; Tears suddenly welled up again.
At that moment, suddenly "bang", the carriage stopped completely.
There was a commotion outside. I glanced out the window, but it was raining and it was dark, everything was dark.
A small door inside the car opened, the driver shouted in panic:
“Attacked!”
"Was, attacked? Robbed?"
I quickly looked at the faces of the guard knight and the coachman next to me, but they just silently shook their heads.
"Stay here. I'll go check on the situation."
Seemingly not expecting an answer, the knight pulled out his sword from his belt, pushed open the car door and rushed out.
My heart felt like it was jumping out of my chest. When I opened my mouth, I was afraid that everything would spill out, so I covered my mouth with both hands.
In the distance, the growls of ferocious men rang out. It could be robbers targeting my luggage, or it could be assassins sent to harm me.
That thought made me tremble. Fear spreads throughout the body. The knight's warning "don't go out" rang out, but the premonition foreshadowed something bad.
The sound of metal colliding in the distance. If this was a plot to kill me, was it really safe inside the car? Is the knight still alive? Or did they collude with the attackers?
Amidst the speculations, a scream rang out. I took that as a signal, kicked the car door and rushed out.
The sounds of battle echoed everywhere, but it was dark and raining heavily, and nothing could be seen. Perhaps this is the only chance. The cold rain soaked my shirt, but I didn't care.
But… where to go now?
I used my crippled legs to crawl, low, across the ground. Finally, we reached a desolate bush.
"Hey! The car is empty!"
“Check carefully!”
“Damn it, what are you waiting for, hurry up!”
The sound of a man checking the car that had just left echoed. My decision is correct. Closing my eyes, then opening them, strangely there was no scream.
I just escaped danger, but I don't know if it was the right way or just postponing the coming death.
Maybe, my running away only made them angrier, waiting for a more painful outcome. Thinking about that, chills ran down my spine.
But dying tragically and helplessly is not. I pulled out the small knife that I always hid in my shirt, my body shrank, panting.
Old memories rushed back. During this critical time, I remember what my biological mother Annalisa often said:
"We must live. Those who survive are the strong."
Don't die. Either way, life is better than death. Survival is victory. Mom always reminded me that.
That stupid mother finally passed away due to the epidemic, but still told me to live. And now, in this desperate situation, what can I do?
An assassin discovered me and shouted:
“There, in the bushes!”
My heart felt like it was falling into the abyss. The assassins approached.
I waved a small knife, my voice trembling:
“Don't come closer!”
It's funny to think, I'm just holding a small knife, I can't be any threat to them.
Of course, they laughed evilly.
“No time left, take it down!”
Another urged, his hands covered in blood. The rain washed away the red blood, forming small rivers on the ground. At this moment I regretted doubting the guardian knight.
A cold feeling touched the back of my neck.
“Don't resent too much.”
The one holding the sword spoke to me. I tried to swallow my fear and asked tremblingly:
“Who… who gave the order?”
I want to know who is behind this plot. I'm both scared and want to listen.
I'm afraid his name will be called... it's your name.
“Is―”
Before I could finish, everything happened too fast.
A creepy sound rang out.
My instincts told me that it was the sound of a dead person. The sword rushed out from the opposite man's hand, blood flowing.
"…What?"
My head is cold as ice. What's going on? Horrifying images that do not resemble reality. The person who was about to kill me was now covered in blood and fell to the ground.
The fishy smell made me nauseous. I vomited, then took a deep breath. When he raised his head, all the assassins had collapsed. Disastrous.
“Ren…”
And he appeared there.
“C-Cesar?”
Cesar approaches step by step. I was surprised and frightened. He should be at the banquet with Giovineta right now, so why is he here?
The stiff body begins to soften. He came to save me? Or…
Uneasy thoughts surround.
“…Why did you come here?”
I asked. Giovineta said that Cesar chose her. If so… if you came to witness the end of me, the only person who tainted you…
Cesar's sword was stained so red that it was scary.
“….”
But he was silent. If only you said something to me… why don't you answer?
My whole body's tension reached its limit.
The sound of the rain gradually subsided, but did not stop. Ears seemed to be submerged in water, vision blurred under the pitch black night.
In the end, I seemed to be sucked into deep darkness and collapsed. Cold raindrops fell on my cheeks. It was also rainy that day.
It all started from… yes, from our wedding.
“If you get married on a rainy day, the bride will cry a lot.”
That morning, it rained heavily. The maids who covered my cheeks with pearly powder whispered that this wedding was a bad omen.
I don't care. The toe hurts like a bone is skewered, throbbing up and down. Wet rainy days are always like that.
My mind focused on the familiar pain, feeling strangely comforting.
But sitting alone in this quiet space is still too strange. Indeed, no bride gets used to the bridal room from the first time. Even those who have been married many times are not familiar with this day.
Patience is a virtue. If you don't endure, you won't gain anything. I told myself that it was all my choice, lying to myself.
Taking a deep breath, I looked for the small knife hidden under my bra. The cold feeling through the thin fabric made my heart shiver.