Carlex saved me from falling, holding my body that was about to collapse.
"You're so drunk that you can't even control your body? Are you okay, Erica?"
Carlex studied me with a worried look.
“Yes, I'm fine… Hex!”
Yes. This hiccup came to me because I had that malicious thought of attacking Your Highness's pure lips.
I hiccupped and shrugged, and Carlex patted me on the back.
Then he sat me on the wooden bench at the entrance to the bar, and threw his cloak over my shoulders.
“Wait a moment. I will get something to warm your body.”
He entered the bar, and soon returned carrying two steaming glasses of wine.
“It's hot tea. It will help you sober up from your drunkenness.”
We sat next to each other on the bench drinking tea.
The night air was cold, but the warmth of the cup flowed through my hands.
Carlex silently looked up at the night sky.
The stars were twinkling in the dark blue sky beyond his sight.
“…In the northern frontier, the stars were seen more clearly from here. Even the Milky Way was seen streaming across the sky.”
•|It is the borders separating lands, or the landmarks and beacons that guide us to determine the endpoints between countries or regions.
This was the first time I heard him talk about his life on the frontier.
In the original novel, it was only described as "Carlex fought enemies in the northern region, or dealt with the monsters that occasionally appeared."
It's been seven whole years.
Seven long, difficult and painful years, during which an eighteen-year-old boy turned into a young man carrying heavy burdens.
"How do you spend your days on the frontier, Your Highness? I mean, when you're not in battle."
I wanted to hear him talk about his daily life, rather than tales of bloody battlefields.
Carlex turned to me with a look that said, “Are you really the one asking this?”
“You're the first one to ask about that.”
“Really?”
“Because everyone only wants to hear about my heroics on the battlefield.”
Then he started telling me about his life on the frontier, with a soft smile.
His voice was calm and gentle, as if he was singing a lullaby to a child.
“I ate with the locals, and broke through the frozen ground to help them plant. I even planted my own potatoes.”
“Really?! Did you plant potatoes, Your Highness?”
I asked him, surprised by the wit, and Carlex nodded seriously.
“Yes. I harvested the potatoes I planted and made food from them. I can cook potato soup and baked potatoes at least.”
I tried to imagine him sitting cross-legged and diligently peeling potatoes.
Oh, that must have been cute.
I will definitely ask him to do that next time.
Carlex's gaze wandered for a moment somewhere in the sky.
As if he longed for that sky that he used to see from the borders.
“In the winter, I would go with the knights into the woods to fetch firewood. We cut down more trees than we killed because we needed to distribute firewood to the residents as well. The frontier winters were harsh and the knights often complained, saying that they felt as if they had been called upon to work as lumberjacks.”
“Are you not tired, Your Highness?”
“I felt more peace of mind when I cut wood. Sometimes I would even go into the forest alone to spend time. I would sit for a long time on the logs I had cut.”
“What were you thinking?”
His gaze, which had been staring at the sky, slowly descended towards me.
It was as if a star was descending on me from the sky.
“I was thinking about the life of those trees. About the sounds of the birds that you hear in the morning, about the rustle of the wind, about the sound of the rain... and what those trees were thinking about when the morning sun shone on them after the storm had passed...”
His voice was calm, like a snowy winter forest.
“And sometimes, I wish I could...become that tree you cut down instead.”
For a moment I seemed to see the back of Carlex sitting on a tree trunk in a white winter forest.
Just imagining the image of him sheltering alone made my heart hurt.
His stories continued to flow as if they were the poem of a wandering poet.
About the days when he would climb the high walls, light a fire and wait for the dawn to come.
The Milky Way flowed overhead, then dawn broke, then the midday sun scorched him, then snow and rain obscured his sight.
He admitted that he had fought through life and death in countless battles, but at the same time, he said that he was most himself during those times.
He remembered it calmly, saying that his seven years on the frontier had not been bad, because he had a place to return to, and people to protect.
"It was a harsh place, but it was equally free. I could do what I wanted, and go where my sword led me. I didn't need all those fake rituals or pretense."
This was an appropriate statement for him, as he despised excess appearances and burdensome aristocratic traditions.
I smiled lightly.
I finally felt relieved after hearing news of him on the frontier.
"This is good."
“What's good?”
“Your Highness has not spent seven years on the frontier and you are just suffering hard.”
Carlex gave a soft smile.
Her smile was like a warm ray of sunshine, making me want to just stare at her.
“Yes. It's good. “It’s good that I came back and met you like this.”
Hey, this conversation is dangerous.
This protagonist takes advantage of every opportunity to create a romantic atmosphere.
It leaves me no room to relax.
I quickly changed the subject.
“When I listen to Your Highness's stories about the frontier, it seems like a wonderful place. “I wish I could visit him.”
I spoke with deliberate enthusiasm.
Carlex asked me in surprise.
“Are you serious? The frontier is a harsh and harsh land. “It is difficult for anyone to bear it for long.”
“But she is free, she does not care about anyone. “I can accept that.”
“Hmm, what are you going to do there? Two-thirds of the year is winter, and strong winds blow throughout the seasons.”
He looked at me intently.
I raised my head to the sky and meditated, leaning my chin on my hand.
“Hmm… I want to build a library. You said there is a lot of wind there. What do you think of a wind library?”
“Library… you mean?”
“Yes. Children, farmers, village women, soldiers, they all come to the library after a hard day, and they hug the books and take them home. Each one of them reads his book to relieve the fatigue of his day and dream of the future, and I will be the librarian who guards the Library of the Winds.”
I started recounting my fantasies with enthusiasm for no reason.
I wondered if he would mock me and say I was naive, so I secretly watched his reaction.
Carlex was sitting absent-mindedly like a dreamer.
A defenseless face, rarely seen.
It was as if he had returned to being the young duke who had entered the borders for the first time, but rather the boy of eighteen.
"Great idea. I've never had such a thought. It's like... a dream."
Carlex said the word “dream” cautiously, as if he was dealing with something fragile and easily broken.
“What is your highness dreaming about?”
The world I came from was a world full of dreams.
Every person builds his dreams since childhood, and in adolescence his dreams change dozens of times.
When he grows up, he will either give up his dreams and come to terms with reality, or start a new dream.
But asking the protagonist about his dream in the world of romance novels, I felt was strange.
Because the hero's dream in the end is to achieve his love with the heroine.
“…is the prosperity of the Reinhardt family, and the position of next head of the family bequeathed to Michael.”
I shook my head firmly.
"This is not a dream. It is a mission or a duty. This is not what you mean. I want something other than boring and rigid, something that belongs only to Your Highness."
Carlex wore an expression of incomprehension.
“Why should I have a dream like this?”
“So that man can live.”
“What is your dream, Erica?”
“It's a secret.”
When I replied with a refreshing smile, Carlex's brow furrowed.
“After you gave me a whole lecture about dreams, you say it's a secret?!”
His voice, strangely enough, was mixed with some annoyance.
“They say dreams don't come true if you tell them. I'll tell you when the time is right.”
My dream is to return safely to my home without dying on the guillotine.
As they say, don't spit into a well to drink from.
She smiled widely, and Carlex shook his head.
A smile had drawn itself on his lips.
“I like the idea of the wind library you just mentioned.”
“Really?”
“If I ever go back to the frontier, I think I will build a library. I only destroyed and killed there. I left nothing behind. But the library has been passed down to generations for hundreds of years.”
I listened to him while nodding my head.
I too, as a librarian, once had the dream of building a small library.
But after running a calculator over the costs of land, construction, municipal permits, yearbook purchases and employee salaries, I decided to keep the dream a dream.
I must give harsh advice to this naive person who only knows how to carry a sword and fight, and knows nothing about real problems.
“I don't mean anything by saying this, but it takes a lot of money to build a library. And you have to have land, too.”
Calyx rubbed his chin thoughtfully, then said:
“Hmm, there is part of the duchy’s territory on the frontier, I can build it there.”
“What? You have duchy lands on the frontiers?”
“It is a land that His Majesty the King gave me as a reward for expelling enemies and eliminating monsters.”
Carlex spoke calmly and in an indifferent tone.
Oh my God, oh my God.
This duke is truly great.
How many properties does he own at this young age?!
If the frontier develops in the future, the profit from the price difference will be enormous!
While I was making ambitious plans in my head to develop properties that were not mine.
“Erica.”
His low, deep voice stopped me.
I raised my head to him slightly nervously.
He ran his hand over the strand of hair stuck to my forehead, then lightly wiped my cheek and chin, then retreated.
His blue eyes followed me steadily. Like a star shining in the night sky.
“If I ever return to the frontier, would you be my librarian?”
It was a promise for the future.
An impossible promise to fulfill.
I couldn't say a word.
I do not exist in his future.
In his calm gaze waiting for my answer, the crack slowly began to widen on one side of my heart.
“Your Highness, I…”
I didn't finish the sentence.
I couldn't say: I can't share the future with you.
I can't climb the fence with you to see the sunrise.
We can't sit together peeling potatoes and making soup.
I can't sit with you on a tree trunk in a snowy winter forest, holding your hand.
I can't dream with you.
I had to say something, but why was my vision blurring before my eyes?
He shouldn't see me cry.
I squeezed my hands so hard that my nails dug into my palms.
On the other hand, she laughed sarcastically.
We didn't even exchange a normal "I love you."
We are both just a hero and a secondary character.
Why do the harsh words that I have to say to him bounce like arrows and hit my heart?!
Maybe I wished my tongue would rot and not utter a word.
Why me…
I tried to turn my face away from his gaze.
But Carlex's big hands grabbed my face.
He looked at me with a look full of hope.
“Erica, look at me.”
At that moment, I heard a voice calling me from behind.
Loving translation