Chapter Forty-One
.Chapter forty-one.
It's him.
Even though it was the moment I had been eagerly waiting for, my tongue froze in a strange way, so I hesitated a little before greeting him in a marginal voice: “I apologize for that time... I made you go through a difficult time.”
I didn't mean to say this.
The words that came out of my mouth were stiff, formal, and defensive.
I was unable to meet his eyes and avoided looking at him.
“I unintentionally caused problems for you.”
Even if I had been misunderstood, I didn't have anything to say.
I remember very well how my relationship with my husband spoiled this way in the past.
I also felt like a helpless woman repeating her mistakes.
He suddenly opened his mouth: “This is really sad.”
I thought I had made him sad with my words, so I raised my head to see his face, pure and upright.
Before I knew it, he took another step closer and his face was very close to mine.
My heart felt strangely fluttering.
His turquoise green eyes looked at me strangely.
It seemed that I drank fresh water after I looked into his eyes.
He smiled softly and said: “I feel sad when you turn your head away from me like that... as if you don’t want to see my face... I have been waiting for this day for some time.”
I tried hard to keep staring at him while I was hesitating, and when the tension rose, I said reprimanding:.
“I... I didn’t know that I upset you... but it’s not my fault. I’m very nervous, so maybe that’s why I felt that way... but didn’t what I did in our previous meeting really bother you?”
However, I didn't hold on to him for long after I said my words and finally turned away from him.
His gaze at me was obviously soft and kind, but it was very difficult to look at him face to face.
I feel like I'm going to make a mistake and I can't regain my composure, so my heart will become more and more anxious.
I tried to force myself to relax and clenched my hands.
The silence lasted for a long time... However, no words came out.
'Should I say something...'.
In the end, I gave up on saying anything I was originally looking forward to saying.
I put on my cold mask and said quietly, gratefully: “Hmm… Since we met like this last time, I have no way to express how grateful I am… If there is a way I can do anything for you as a nice return, can you tell me?”
My pretentious words did not require much thought from me and flowed naturally, like a machine. I then added: “I want to make it up to you in any way I can.”
In fact, if possible, I wanted to have a more honest conversation with him.
How truly grateful I was to him that day. How much talking to him healed me.
Also, if possible, I wanted to talk about our topic that day again.
How can I calmly and comfortably trust people and find that line between faith and disbelief?.
But that day has passed.
Maybe it was something special that day, as I was distracted and talking about my inner thoughts as if I had been possessed by something...and he responded to me then.
I had no idea I'd be able to see him again, and when I met him with a straight face under the shiny chandelier... I was too sensible for it to happen again, and I was bad at closing the distance.
‘I am different from Diane, who opens her heart to people quickly.
I am always on the defensive, measuring the distance, unable to approach, and hesitating.
I can't be honest or kind.'.
He thought for a moment and then spoke: “Is this true... Then I will tell you without hesitation what I want from you.”
“I would be happy to know that.”
So, at least I listened to what he said with all my heart. Because I was being honest when I said I wanted to repay him with everything I could.
“Instead of feeling sorry for me, I wanted to hear you say that you were just grateful to me for that day.”
His words were unexpected and she looked at him in surprise.
So he spoke calmly with a gentle face: “I was looking forward to seeing you so much today... That day, all I saw was your crying... So I was hoping to see you smiling today... But, let alone smiling, you didn’t even look at my face properly... So I’m really sad.”
I blinked in confusion.
I thought Ian was the only person who directly expressed his feelings like that, but now his way was similar to him but different... It was embarrassing for me.
She quickly apologized to him: “I’m sorry, that was never my intention.. I wanted to thank you, but instead I ended up hurting my feelings.”
“What should I do to soothe your heart and sadness?” I asked as if I was pleading.
He smiled as if this was what he had been waiting for and said, “First of all, I would like you to call me Max...and I hope you will look at my face while talking to me.”
I looked calmly at his face.
The question that came to my mind: Why is he treating me so kindly?.
But I said something else instead.
“Are you okay with me calling you by your name?”
At that time, he lightly extended his hand.
His white-gloved hand extended to me, inviting me to accompany him: “I would be honored if you would allow me the honor of accompanying you as a means of comforting my grief.”
I hesitated for a moment, but I couldn't keep him waiting for long….
So I reactively put my hand on top of his.
"Yes. If it's okay with you, I'll be happy to accompany you.."
It was like I was being pushed to accompany him.
But I didn't hate it, instead I was confused.
So, for some reason, without even thinking about it, I ended up holding his hand as I walked down the aisle where the paintings were on display.
The warmth of his hand coming from under the white gloves was unfamiliar and pleasant, so I feared my hands would start sweating.
'How did this happen suddenly?'.
Even though I was momentarily confused, I thought he was good at holding the conversation.
Just like the thought I felt when I first saw him.
As I was thinking about this, I looked at him and our eyes met immediately.
Was he looking at me? I was surprised for a moment.
Ah...his eyes are so beautiful and deep.
I also felt a fluttering in my chest.
His eyes are transparent green like spring water.
If the eyes were the window to the soul, he looked like someone with a fountain in his heart.
I felt like I wanted to keep looking at him but like that I would lose my mind, so I turned my gaze away from him, glanced at him again, and our eyes met again.
I didn't want to be seen as a strange woman, but I still wanted to look him in the eye.
He said with sudden flattery. : “You have very beautiful eyes.”
While I was just thinking about his eyes, I was surprised by his words because I felt like he had read my thoughts.
I felt embarrassed and answered stiffly: “Yes.”
Then I kept my mouth shut.
However, the next moment, I realized that I had messed up, so I thanked him, saying, “Thank you for your kind compliment.”
She added a little: “I'm not saying this because you complimented my eyes, but your eyes are really beautiful too… they look as transparent as fresh water.”
I mean it...his eyes were the sexiest eyes I'd ever seen.
My eyes keep looking at her and she can't turn away.
I heard him laughing next to me after I spoke, so I looked at him and found that he had covered his mouth with his fist and was laughing hard.
'Damn...did I make a mistake?'.
It may be rude to tell a man that he has beautiful eyes.
I was in trouble and didn’t know what to do, but he suddenly spoke: “I’m Max... call me Max... and the reason I’m laughing is because your words are really refreshing, so don’t worry too much... in fact, this is the first time I’ve heard a compliment like this.”
He added, bowing softly: “You saying that my eyes are beautiful... It was something really unexpected... I usually have a problem with my eyes.”
I was surprised and a little confused at the same time.
“What? I don’t understand.”
His almond-shaped green eyes, framed by thick eyelashes, were so soft and gentle and so impressive that it was difficult to understand them.
I looked directly into his eyes and said, “From the beginning, I thought you had very gentle and beautiful eyes… If it isn’t rude to say this, I would like to continue looking at them intensely.”
His cold and calm impression disappears the moment you face his wonderful green eyes, those beautiful eyes that hide behind coldness. If you look at them once, it is difficult to take your eyes off them.
His eyes make me feel alive instead of just being a green jewel, they are like the sea, drawing me deeply into them.
Max looked away... and a laughing voice spoke to me, scolding me childishly: “It's so embarrassing for you to stare at me like that... You're not trying to turn me on, are you?”
I felt embarrassed and quickly shook my head: “Yes?” “No, of course not.”
After I rejected what he said, I realized that I rejected him too violently.
She added: “Of course, I am not saying that your eyes are not attractive. I am just saying that I do not mean to excite you...”
While I was speaking unintelligibly, Max warmly pulled my hand that I had entrusted to him.
Through his white glove, I felt gentleness and warmth, and when I looked at him, he was laughing.
“If you're sincerely reacting like that, then I'm sorry for joking... I'm kidding... be more comfortable... my dear... I said that with the intention of teasing you.”
When he added this light joke, my impression of him changed significantly from the initial impression that he was a wise person and good at dealing with people.
Only then did I feel his age.
Suddenly it occurred to me that he was a young man about my age. I realized this when I looked at his smiling face.
Somehow I felt a little more comfortable.
So, for the first time, I let go of my difficulties and hit him lightly.
“You are so mean. If you like to tease others like this, you are a very bad person... If you joke so kindly with others for no reason, then you are already in prison.”
Then an unknown smile appeared on his face.
“Do you really think it's unjustified kindness? I'm not a nice person in general.”
At the end of those words, he grabbed my hand and squeezed it lightly.
Even though he was looking at me with a friendly face, something made me stop moving with him and freeze.
I clumsily pulled the hand he was holding, and he stumbled momentarily, his arm hanging in the air.
His arm stood in a position waiting for me to take my hand with him again.
Just like my heart.. Strangely enough, I was afraid of the idea that my heart was so light but I didn’t want to stop this feeling….
Is what I am doing wrong or right?.
I didn't know the answer to his words or my question.
We were about to fall into an awkward silence for a while when I couldn't find anything to say.
And then an amused look slowly spread across his face as he faced me.
She looked at him in confusion, and Max smiled cheerfully again: “Look at this… you’ve been tricked again.”
"Yes……!"
Suddenly, my tension calmed down, and at the same time, a feeling of shame swept over me.
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