# 82
“...No, it can't be. Wait. Just a moment.”
Dearyn stopped Sirius eagerly.
As soon as she pulled him towards the sofa, he immediately tried to rest on her knee.
“Why?” Sirius asked in an annoyed tone.
Even when he was pretending to be weak, and when things did not go his way, his anger began to show.
It was difficult to balance Sirius' confidence boost with sound guidance.
If you decide to discipline him, you should be firm, but if you treat him too gently, you may be afraid that he will lose his self-confidence.
'But now, it's time to set boundaries.'
Dayarine has her priorities straight.
It was clear that Sirius could maintain his psychological stability without having to become completely attached to her.
He didn't have to go very far, but as long as he was within sight, the negative impact was limited.
If she continues to accept every approach from him, she will never be able to create that necessary distance.
Up until now, Deyarin had been accepting it casually, but that had to change.
...Also, she felt uncomfortable when Sirius approached her.
It was vaguely bothering her.
But she hid this last reason even from herself.
“I was putting up with it because you were having a hard time, Sirius… but now, it's not necessary, is it?”
“No, it's not true...”
“You no longer feel the strong urge to clash or scream, do you?”
“….”
When her words struck his core, Sirius couldn't deny it.
He had not yet become the boy who would lie brazenly if it was to his advantage.
As his lips quivered silently, Deyarin smiled gently and nodded her head in agreement.
“It may be difficult at first, but you will adapt.”
You can do it, little pup!
"No matter how empty your heart is, you shouldn't do that to your girlfriend. I won't accept this anymore."
"girlfriend?"
The word was foreign to Sirius.
He saw it in books, but it didn't hold any concrete meaning to him yet.
Love, friendship.
Words he had never heard in the palace, but had been repeated often since he entered the royal palace.
The books described her as “a close person, with whom you have a friendly and close relationship.”
It felt right, to be close.
It is also true that your relationship is close.
And to be the same age, perhaps?
But man, that was certainly true.
All of these meanings agreed with Deyarin, and she was a “friend” to him.
However, Sirius was not able to easily accept Dearyn as a “girlfriend.”
The character that the books portrayed as “the friend” was far away and less close than Deyarin was.
“Yes, we are friends.”
“Besides friendship, what could it be?”
“What is there but friendship? Well, there is family...”
Sirius was familiar with the concept of family as well.
It is a relationship that is established either by blood or as a result of one party raising the other.
"family…?"
This was not a description I had ever thought of before.
family?
For Deyarin, the family was an entity that she wanted to burn to the ground so that she could be left alone in this world, but she did not dare to do so for fear of loneliness. However, having a family was like carrying the burden of a foul odor that made life itself rotten.
But the general meaning of family was different.
It is a relationship in which a person feels connected, where each party is most important to the other, and they are never apart.
“…If we look at it from this angle, maybe...”
“If you raised me, Diarren.”
“Wait, that means I'm a nanny!”
Which means that Ceres becomes the receiving end, or in other words, a child.
“No, no, that's not true.”
Perhaps in his days as a wild pup she might have thought for a moment about it, but now that he was a strange young man separated from her protection, he was nothing like a child to her.
The thought of cuddling Sirius like a baby sent shivers from her head to her feet non-stop.
“No, no, impossible.”
Dearyn shuddered and shook her head emphatically.
Even Sirius himself wasn't comfortable with the idea, and nodded along dismissively.
Thus, the definition of their relationship returned to “friends.”
But the term friend was not enough, he did not feel it was accurate...
“What relationship is closer than friendship but not family?”
His questions are becoming more complex.
She was afraid that questions would arise such as, “How do you prove the existence of the ruler?”, “Where did the universe begin?”
But the current questions were no less terrifying, as they might lead to an answer that veers towards “love.”
Deyarin tried hard to find the right answer.
“Aha, best friends!”
“Best friends?”
“He is the closest friend of all. You eat together, you run to him first when something happens, and you stay by his side like I do with you.”
I found the perfect answer after a lot of trouble.
The more I talked, the more I felt it was the most appropriate description.
'Best friends,' Sirius repeated carefully.
“It seems that you are already my best friend.”
"Finally, we found the answer. But why 'my best friend'?"
“I'm not Dearren's best friend.”
"…What?"
“For Dyaren, I am…”
Sirius stopped suddenly, his features turning serious, and his head lowered.
“Sirius?”
"…I."
He looked genuinely serious, which made Dearyn move closer to examine his face with concern.
Sirius hurt at his words.
“...I, it's nothing to Dyarin...”
Dayaren was shocked, she did not expect his thoughts to go this far.
“No, no, why are you thinking that? Thanks to you, you saved my life, right?”
"…Yes."
“You used to come and worry about me when I was feverish at night and take care of me. Thanks to you, my condition improved quickly.”
"…Is this correct?"
Deyarin tried hard to convince him. Sirius' features began to soften a little.
She could ignore his grief because of love, but seeing him break down and feel inadequate was too much to bear.
In fact, Sirius was a hero who gave everything for Racklin.
This hero's head cannot bend.
"Raise your head! Straighten up!"
"Good."
Dearyn pressed hard on his shoulders to give him strength, and Sirius regained some energy and smiled faintly.
‘…Ah…’
Dearyn's heartbeat quickened again.
Sirius' smile was exactly similar to the smile she had always imagined from the 'Young Master'.
A soft smile, barely visible but full of depth, embodied a delicate joy that came out cautiously.
Deyarin couldn't help but swallow.
If Sirius had been unbuttoning his shirt at that moment, she would have felt truly embarrassed.
It was a dangerous smile by all standards.
“…So, Sirius, let’s be good friends.”
Deyarin tried hard to shake her head and regain consciousness.
She wanted to end the issue of defining their relationship quickly...
But Sirius didn't seem entirely convinced and shook his head questioningly again.
“But there is a relationship that is said to care about the other person first.”
."What? Where did you hear that?"
“From another room.”
What a surprise.
Deyarin froze in fear and anxiety.
They were both spending the night sleeping, so Sirius didn't have long to listen to the conversations in the other rooms.
But Sirius could hear voices even in his sleep.
He must have picked up some words and understood them himself without asking.
But she wasn't quite sure those words would be understood correctly.
“A relationship in which two people are each other's priority is a 'lovers' relationship, right?”
"One person cannot be a lover alone. This is a relationship that requires two."
Deyarin sternly refused.
“…Ah. So, Dearren, why don’t we become lovers?”
“...that's not what I mean...”
Why does every conversation turn to love and relationships?
Sirius's attention was entirely on that side, and everything he heard around him tended in that direction, so it wasn't entirely strange.
But for Deyarin, hearing a love confession or becoming lovers was never out of the question.
How could she take his mind off this topic?
She was thinking about finishing this “parenting task” and achieving independence for him, not about entering into a romantic relationship.
“Sirius, lovers are people who ‘love’ each other.”
Sirius' shoulders trembled.
love. There has been talk of a forbidden word.
Sirius had confessed his love for Deyarin before, and had been flatly rejected.
But he acted as if nothing had happened.
It seemed like he was going to try to ignore it again, so Deyarin confirmed again.
“I don't love you, Sirius.”
“…”
As expected, Sirius was disappointed.
But Dayarin did not try to console him.
There was a heavy silence between them, and Deyarin refused to weaken or back down.
She couldn't give in every time the child asked for something unreasonable, she had to be strong in this matter.
“So, how about something else?” (Ceres)
Sirius changed his strategy when he realized that Dyaren would not give up so easily.
“Like what, other than love?” (Diyarin)
“A very close relationship, but without love, and we see it every day.”
“…Doesn’t that mean a close friendship or a close friend?”
“No. Closer than that... and fits my heart.”
“What is it?”
Dearyn had no idea what he meant.
If she didn't know herself, how could Sirius know?
As she tried to figure out what he meant, Sirius confidently said using a newly learned word.
"mistress!"
“…….”
Deyarin felt an echo shaking her mind, leaving her in a daze.
She couldn't even scream; Her shock exceeded the limits of reaction.
Hema: Which midwife 🤙🏻
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